I woke up today and weighed myself. And when, the scale read seventy-seven pounds, a look of confusion appeared on my face. ‘Ummm… what? I’ve been eating larger portions and drinking my calcium beverages. So, what’s seems to be the problem?’ The morbid thought of having to be hospitalized and fed through an IV pick-line made its way into my head. After a moment of great fear and discouragement a thought came to mind. Maybe it’s my attitude… In all honestly, my perception of gaining weight and recovering has been transformed into an unlikely chore. I’ve been struggling with negative thoughts which is making my patience run out. Never in my life have I felt so out of balance and confused about my own body and mind. Feeling detached from myself and neglecting what I truly enjoy has become a crisis in itself.
Fortunately I'm blessed with a very supportive family who helps me everyday and of course there is that lovely word called hope. With hope and a positive attitude, I want my recovery to be a pleasant experience that allows me to grow more confidence and learn more about myself. I want to be able to enjoy the little things again... Such as: going out to eat without feeling pressured or monitored, feeling comfortable in my own skin, and wearing clothes that actually fit.
My healing process should be thought of as an opportunity to figure out what’s wrong. That’s why; I am going to be more proactive in my recovery and I will blog about my experiences more in depth. Maybe sharing my journey with you will help motivate me and anyone else who is going through a similar rut. Enjoy!