Tuesday, June 21, 2011

a little thing called insomnia

Today I went to mother's job to help with whatever needed to get done. This weekend is Bridge Fest which literally blows my mind. Last year I was in a terrible mood and I can't remember why. In fact, I was always kind of annoyed with something and very tired; I was going through a lot of weird emotions which controlled my actions.

So, there's something always on my mind. I'm always thinking about something. There's never a time when my thoughts are turned off. It's provided me with both good and bad feelings inside. I don't go by my emotions because my thoughts are always playing tricks on me. Especially when I'm in one of those moody-leave-me-alone kind of moods. I don't why, but I just thought that I'd might share that.

In other news, I finished "Something Borrowed" which I enjoyed very much. I was happier with the book than the movie. Which lacked the best details of the story and I think it would've been so much more interesting if Hillary was in the movie. Son... of a gun! I am definitely reading the sequel "Something Blue" which is Darcy's side of the story. Can't waiiiiit.

Well, I am not tired but am finding it hard to keep my eyes open... If you know what I mean!


Thursday, June 16, 2011

hello, goodbye

Today is another morning at the church's office. Hopefully today won't be like Tuesday and I'll have a task today instead of getting stuck doing nothing! I'm not sure what I'm doing today, I've been kind of clueless lately. One thing I am not clueless about is having a lovely day yesterday.

I woke up pretty early ate breakfast and read the bible. Then baked two different types of cupcakes. Cookies 'n' Cream and Chocolate Mocha. I used new recipes and added my own touch to them. (natural sweeteners opposed to cane sugar) After the first batch, I worked out for half an hour and made the second. I went for a nice walk to the library and spent a little time reading. Well, sort of. It was one of those magazines I wouldn't normally read and have a love/hate relationship with. I stopped reading the magazine when I noticed the redundancy and walked back home.

I read more of "Something Borrowed" and ate mango flavored yogurt. That book is surprisingly addictive. Well I wasn't so surprised because my sister (who rarely reads) couldn't manage to put it down. It's actually a million times better than the movie (THANK GOD) and the character Rachel isn't as hopeless. (Maybe because you hear her thoughts and feelings more throughout the book?) I'm always annoyed by how they make movies these days. There's maybe one good okay.. decent movie that is thrown in the mix of newer movies. I doubt it'll get any better and I'm sure it will get worse. Hate to be pessimistic but, people are lowering their standards, and the younger generation has horrible taste. I know, I am no one to say that... but really?!?! Do I need to give examples? (cough, sequels, cough, pregnant teenagers, cough.)

After that I went to a friend's house for a BBQ; I got to see my friend who moved to Florida a few years ago! (I haven't seen her since we started high school... now we're both about to start our second year of college! time... flies.)It was really nice because we always managed to keep in touch and keep our inside jokes alive. Which is rare since a ratio of the friends who moved do not keep in touch and it makes me a little sad. It seems almost like it's too late to replenish a friendship when both people have changed so much. I was so happy to see she was still the same and remembered memories from the past. I'm hoping to visit her in the near future :)

When I came home, I read some more and then fell asleep. Now I'm here. Waiting for a task. Blah.


Monday, June 13, 2011

little things

Hey, I’ve got some things to say. I don’t normally get personal, especially, online. The thought actually kind of terrifies me. I don’t know why but I feel like it’s eating me alive if I don’t share what’s been going on…

But to make this short and sweet, I’ve come along way, and I didn’t need a therapist either. In fact, seeing one only made me feel more anxious. I managed to gain most of my weight back (still working on gaining more) and I am actually controlling my attacks more successfully. I appreciate everyone’s prayers immensely and thank God that this doesn’t have to control my life. God has shown me that. Though, I still have a lot of unnecessary quirks, I see things a lot less dimly.

Again, that wasn't too personal and I left out major details. You know why? I'm still a working process, I don't think it's necessary to talk about myself so much either. That’s all I’m writing for now. This girl needs some sleep!


Friday, June 10, 2011

Less confused, more content.

The word future seems like it's an eternity away, but in reality it's not. As a matter of fact it's actually closer than I want to believe. Despite the length of my days, I am noticing that weekends are approaching faster than they used to. I guess it's because I'm off of school and it's practically summer. Which is a relief! Except that constant reminder that I am still unemployed and without a car...On the bright side, those are my only worries of the moment.

Before the concern of the moment was based on going back to school and without any certainty. I was certain if nutrition was really what I wanted to do. Don't get me wrong, I am very passionate about it but is it something I want to do as a career? I hate having second thoughts and so, I decided I would first focus on getting my liberal arts degree. At least I'll be still learning and getting credits and not have to worry about taking the wrong classes! Any less stress is preferred immensely...

Enough about that, I really need to focus on what I can do now. Job, car, oh yeah... and friends. Working on that, one step at a time, I promise.


Saturday, June 4, 2011

Good morning,

I woke up a an hour and half ago and just sitting down Indian style whilst drinking a cup of black coffee. My bedroom is almost complete... today I'm going to pick out a headboard for my bed at an antique store. There's not really a theme to my room though if I had to choose a theme, I think it would be considered rustic. I had the walls painted a dark tan and the ceiling a nice creamy color. It's certainly more relaxing than the hot pink ceilings and turquoise walls. I love it and I am really happy to sleep in my room again.

This week went by fast because Monday was Memorial day. I didn't really do anything interesting on the holiday. I stayed home and watched Project Runway, mom made some bacalado and I made tostones. Pretty relaxed! On Tuesday Aria and I missed yoga class again and instead went to zumba with a new instructor. She really had us working hard which was what I needed after a long day. After the gym we went to see Bridesmaids which was really funny and cute, I loved it. On Wednesday I tagged along with Aria while she ran some errands throughout the day and that's about it. Thursday I felt sick so I just hung out at home.... Friday was kind of the same only I baked most of the afternoon and later went on a walk.

Tomorrow should be nice. My grandparents are taking us to dinner for my dad's 50th birthday. He's going to be half a century! On Tuesday my sister and I are taking him to dinner and a movie. Well, I'm going to go now. Adios!


Thursday, June 2, 2011

It's the second day of June and the weather is incredible. Nothing like yesterday! The humidity was high, it was also very hot which made me feel very sticky; but enough about the weather.. (it seems like the easiest thing for me to talk about... I actually use it as a device when I'm nervous during small talk!)

Last June I graduated high school which was pretty interesting and freeing. Then college came which was very much like high school only with a little more homework. Since the whole chronic illness fiasco, I miss school terribly. Mostly English class because it involved a lot of writing and reading which always kept me busy. Not going to school and working has had it's highs and mostly it's lows. I can't really say I enjoy having too much time on my hands and I hate doing nothing. These past three months I spent my time: baking, writing, drawing, serving at the church, and reading. Things I do enjoy, but now that I'm feeling less tired and sick, I feel it's time to start working again. Because there's nothing worse than being broke during the summer!

Anyway, things that have been on my mind are mostly summer related! BBQ's, camping, picnics, outdoor concerts... and so on! Well that's I'll have to say for now but I'll write more later. Peace!